Job Study: Chapter Eight - "When Rebuke and Resistance Collide"

Last night we read through the chapters of 11-14, Zophar's legalistic tirade of accusations against Job, and Job's response.

In chapter 11 vs 1-4, Zophar accused Job of being guilty of sin.  In the same chapter vs 5-12, Zophar accused Job of being ignorant of God, and in vs 12 called Job and 'idiot' (the meaning in Hebrew is 'to be hollow or empty).  Then thirdly, as chapter 11 continues, vs 13-20, Zophar accused Job of being stubborn in his refusal to repent. 

Zophar delivered a lecture in Theology 101 - as if Job needed another lecture.  And, unfortunately, quite a few Zophars are still on the loose today.  If you haven't met one, just wait.  He or she will come along, with absolutely no capacity to 'connect the dots' or discern your real need.  Zophars don't understand how God is working in your life, yet they have a customized message of shame and blame for you...and they may even say it's from God.  Why do they do this?  Because you are not doing what they believe you should be doing.  Or you're doing what they believe you should NOT be doing.

There were three things Job responded to Zophar with:

• First, Job refuted Zophar's accusation that he had no knowledge of God.  Job affirmed in chapter 12 that he did possess wisdom and understanding, just as his friends did.  He had followed God, worshiped Him, and obeyed Him.  He admitted that he didn't understand the earthly reason for his suffering, but he held on to his faith.
• Second, Job responded to Zophar's accusation that he was a guilty sinner.  In chapter 13, Job affirmed his integrity and his blameless position before God.  In fact, he must have wished that he had something to confess, if that would have meant that God would hear his voice and restore him!  Yet he still maintained his innocence.
• Third, Job closed his speech by challenging Zophar's suggestion that he could have hope if he simply confessed his sinfulness.  Job admitted that he was close to losing hope, but only because he had no sin to confess.  Since he couldn't see the big picture, he begged God to show up and to offer him some perspective on his suffering.

I thought the next few paragraphs Chuck wrote were great:

If you're on the receiving end of poor advice and hurtful accusations, take heart!  As Christians, we're called to be gracious and loving, but we're not called to be doormats.  Jesus modeled kindness and meekness, but He most certainly wasn't afraid to rebuke the Pharisees and chase the money changers out of the temple when necessary.

We aren't obligated to take the advice of every legalistic, joy-stealing person that comes down the pike.  We're neither ignorant nor unimportant.  We're sons and daughters of the Most High God!  No one has the right to mistreat us, shame us, or take advantage of us.

Make it a point to spend time with those who comfort, support, and encourage you in your walk with God.  If those around you offer only negativity, unhealthy peer pressure, discouraging and hurtful words, and a lack of sensitivity to your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, then you may need to get out of your comfort zone and make some new friends!

Wow!  I had a huge 'AMEN' written in the column of my study book for that one.  Possibly it spoke to me because I've gone through the whole 'weeding process' of 'friends' in the past few years.  The unhealthy, toxic ones HAD to go.  And praise the Lord, I have the few intimate friends that I can rely on, who always take me to The Rock that is higher.  I am blessed.

In the 'nuggets of wisdom' section Chuck raises three significant questions that each of us need to answer.  They are as follows:

• First, are you seeking to know the depths of God?  We often tend to just skim the surface instead of taking risks and plumbing the depths of God's wisdom, knowledge, and grace.  Because we feel obligated to 'put on a happy face', we often fake spiritual joy instead of being real about our griefs, trials, struggles, and painful disappointments.  We tend to make happiness the goal of our Christian lives rather than glorifying God no matter the cost. 

We can seek to know the depths of God by cultivating intimacy with Him.  In fact, He's waiting to hear from us!..."Patiently and graciously (our Lord) waits to reveal insights and dimensions of truth to those who care enough to probe, to examine, to ponder.  Such searching is not merely an intellectual pursuit.  God's ways are not discovered through the normal, humanistic methods of research...As important and intriguing as divine depths might be, they defy discovery by the natural means of our minds.  He reserves these things for those whose hearts are completely His...for those who take the time to wait before Him.  Only in that way can there be intimacy with the Almighty..." (emphasis added).

• Second, will all be well when God examines your life?  Scripture says that each of us "will stand before the judgment seat of Christ to give and account of the things we have done" (2 Cor 5:10).  We'll be held accountable for our actions and our decisions, and only those who have established a relationship with Jesus Christ through faith in Him will enter heaven (emphasis added).
• Third, when you die, will you inter God's presence, or will you be separated from Him forever?  As far as we know, only four things are eternal: God, His Word, angels and people.  He made us to  live forever.  The question is, where?  Will we live eternally in heaven with Him, or in hell without Him?

These are not light questions.  They are provoking and should be re-evaluated if you don't already stand confident in your answers.  Ask the Holy Spirit to show your honest answers to you, and move a head accordingly.  Hell is no laughing matter, and is very real.

It all comes down to your personal intimate relationship to Christ Jesus.  You and Almighty - only.  You can't ride the coat-tails of friends, family members, or the generation before you, and expect to get a free ticket into heaven.  It simply doesn't work that way!  Chuck said a line in the audio portion of the study I thought was 'fridge worthy'.  He said, "Your destiny is determined when you are alive, not after you die."  Well said!  So, where is your eternal resting place?  If you can't answer with certainty, I plead with you to get alone with God and get right with Him.

Let's deliberately embrace this aim: to "become more intimately acquainted with Christ."

Until next time,
'K'

Job Study: Chapter Seven - "Continuing the Verbal Fistfight"

Okay...I know I missed posting last Wednesday, and the thought briefly crossed my mind - "FAIL". However, I remembered quickly that our words (to ourselves as well as to others), are either blessings or curses...I chose not to go the route of the latter (yay...wee success for me!!). Instead, I chose to come under the grace that I'm sure is extended by those of you who read this blog. It was never my intent to completely bypass chapter seven, or even give up blogging the study, but simply stated...life happens :)

So, catching up then...the selection of this chapter seven is from Job 8-10. We started out by a reading of Hudson Taylor's quote "God Is An Infinite Sovereign" (you can read the quote from my earlier post linked here should you choose... http://eternitysperspective-kmc.blogspot.com/2010/09/privilege-of-having-our-needs-met-day.html). And we seemed to be focusing on the word 'integrity'. We're sure that is going to be the bullet that's going to be what leaves the study with us. What does integrity look like in our own lives?

We also discussed how 'back in the day' whenever something 'bad' happened to someone, sin was the immediate explaination...'What did they do to deserve this?'. We find that it still rings true in todays society. Sad but true, we assume 'they must have done something to deserve it', and secretly count our blessings it wasn't us...this time. Instead of realizing sometimes it's just life happening...'it is what it is'!

Brent Curtis and John Eldredge write in their book 'Sacred Romance':

If we will listen, a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We've heart it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. The Romance is even present in times of great personal suffering; the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a fiend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure...

However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hears, the passion of our life. And the voice that call to us in this place is non other than the voice of God.

Chuck takes this a little further by writing;

While our Sacred Romance with our Father begins in a place of beuaty and innocence, we soon recognize that our enemy, Satan, is constantly trying to destroy us by sending us a negative message...Satan pulls back his powerful bow and lets his poisonous arrows of sin, jealousy, rejection, pain, and affliction fly straight into out hearts...Job and God had once shared a special friendship characterized by closeness and overflowing blessing. But now the enemy was using whatever arrows he could to try to make Job's faith falter. That included discouraging words from Job's best friends.

Chuck reminds us the poor advice given to Job from his friend Bildad:

• LOOK UP! - Bildad offered misguided personal insight into the character of God and the reasons for Job's suffering...H.L. Mencken wrote, "For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." Bildad offres a simplistic solution to an exraordinarily difficult problem. As a result, not only does he fail miserably to sole the problem, he piles more accusation and blame on Job instead of comfort.
• LOOK BACK! - Next Bildad exhorted his friend to seek wisdom from the past (vs 8:8-10)...But Job's experience was personal, and the circumstances surrounding it were unique. Since no one had ever before been in Job's place, he had no point of reference for his suffering. Even the teaching of his forefathers in the faith offered no solutions for his particular dilemma. His only hope was to hold onto his faith in God more tightly than ever.
• LOOK AROUND! - Bildad suggested that Job had experienced severe affliction because he had committed wrongs and refused to confess his sin. Bildad implied that if Job would simpley admit his guilt, God would restore his health, his family, and his fortunes.

Job's reply to Bildad:

• If I could stand before God, what would I say? Job bemoaned that he couldn't bring his case to trial before the Lord. He longed for God's mercy, but God seemed to be against him.
• If I could declare my own innocence, what good would it do? Job constantly asserted his innocence before God and sought for justice to be served. Yet he continued to suffer spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
• If I tried to be positive and cheerful, how would it help me? He sought wisdom from his firends. He sought direction and mercy from God. He tried his best to maintain his faith and hope despite all odds. Yet he was blasted from every side by poor advice, blame, negativity, or worse, silence.
• If only I had mediator, I could have my needs represented, and the truth would be told. Job mourned the fact that he had no 'umpire' to serve as an arbitrator between himself and God...Since Job lived two thousand or more years before Christ, he had no one to argue his case before God. Job's cry would be ours as well if it weren't for the work of Jesus Christ, our merciful Mediator. Thankfully, Jesus serves as our go-between with the Father. Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 2:5-6: "For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time".

Woohoo...Jesus is our 'umpire'!! It's so hard for me to fathom what it would have been like back in Job's day. It's hard enough to keep our faith from faltering today even with the Bible, but to not have The Book of Truth to consult with on any given area of our lives, as was the position of Job, I honestly don't know how strong my faith would be. I mean...Job didn't know the ending of his story like we do! No words I tell ya, simply no words!

A few last words Chuck leaves us with in his 'nuggets of wisdom' portion of our study:

• When misery breaks our spirit, philosophical words don't help us cope. Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, "Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become." Having a close friendship with someone doesn't mean that we have the license to say whatever we want to that person! Instead, we're called to take extra care to show lvoe and compassion. Not only that, but we're called to love our enemies as well as our friends.
• When a mediator can't be found, futile searches won't give us hope. If Job learned one positive lesson from his sufferings, it was that only God could truly be depended upon. Even when God was silent, Job trusted that He was there. Even when God's dealing seemed incomprehensible and mysterious, Job recognized His sovereignty. Though Satan buffeted Job, his wife urged him to curse God and die, and his friends condemned him, that partiarch of patience stood the test. Instead of searching for hope in all the wrong places, Job placed his faith in God.

In closing this post, I'll leave you with some words from Chuck that I found very encouraging:

There are many times in life when we don't know the answers and can't understand God's plan. God wants us to cast our cared on Him (1Peter 5:7), to pour out our feelings and frustrations to Him as Job did.

Isn't is great to know and rest in the fact that nothing we throw at God catches Him off guard, and that it's never anything He can't handle?!!

Blessings to you all until next time,
'K'

Job Study: Chapter Six - "Responding to Bad Counsel"

We looked at selections from Job 4-7 this week, and some of the 'bad counsel' Job's friends gave him.  This reminded me, yet again, that not all advice is good advice.  Even when it's from other Christians or from those close to us with our 'best interest at heart'.  Job's friends gave advice based on experience, tradition and assumptions, as many of us have done and have had done to us.  We are human after all, and sinful too don't forget!

Although the advice from loved ones is usually well intended, we must remember it is crucial to sift everything through God's Word.  After all, that's our plumb line...or at least it ought to be.  Unfortunately, it's 'easier' sometimes to look through the faulty filters of our sinful and selfish nature.

In the section of 'Taking Truth to Heart', Chuck writes:

No doubt, you've known occasions when another person's heart reflected your own concerns and desires.  Perhaps you had a deep sorrow or concern in the well of your heart that you struggled to pull up.  Then along came someone you loved and trusted who could drop a bucket into that deep well, pull out your sorrow, and comfort and encourage you.

On the other hand, sometimes love prompts our friends to give us counsel that isn't easy for us to hear: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6).

The Hebrew language that Solomon uses in the first half of the verse suggests this literal translation: "Faithful are the wounds caused by the one who loves you."  Sometimes we receive emotional or spiritual 'bruises' from the words of those who genuinely love us and want to encourage us to grow.  These bruises from friends stay with us for a long time, but usually, if they've been offered in love and with discretion, we're the better for having received them.  Such faithful bruising helps us more in our walk with God than false flattery, trite remarks, or a phony embrace from someone who has their own best interests, not ours, at heart.

An effective word of exhortation, however, must be presented with a loving spirit and at the right time.  When we're hurting deeply, we don't need additional wounds from friends.  We depend on them to provide love, comfort, encouragement, and wisdom during challenging times.  Positive words spoken from a loving heart in the right circumstances may be just the ray of sunlight we need to break through the clouds on a dark, depressing lonely day."

Timing is crucial.  As is the gentleness in our approach to others when they are down trodden.  Simply put...it's the 'Golden Rule' - treat others as you want to be treated.  I think this statement has lost it's weight as it's been thrown around a bit flippantly...in my humble opinion.  Really taking the time to stop and consider for a moment, 'what if the tables were turned and it was me going through...', how would I want people to be towards me?  The more I am learning on my walk with Christ Jesus, the more I see how I need to be.  The more I see how He loves, and the more that makes me want to love as He does.  By no means have I 'arrived' or even come close (I don't believe anyone will as long as we're living on this earth) but I'm making a conscious effort to daily live that way.

Before we take a look at the three lessons from Eliphaz's poor advice Chuck outlines for us, it's important for us to distinguish the difference between 'guilt' and 'shame'.  Guilt is 'convition' - it's from God, and it's always specific.  Shame is 'condemnation' - it's from Satan, and it's never specific.  So before we go 'shaming' ourselves or others, we need to remember where it comes from.  If it's guilt...good news...we can do something about it!  Let's look at Chuck's lessons for us now:

• First, assumptions reduce understanding and insight.  Instead of responding to Job's suffering with comfort and compassion, Eliphaz started preaching.  He assumed that Job had committed sin, and that God had sent trouble upon Job as direct punishment for that sin.  We must be careful what we assume about others' painful situations, and encourage rather than blame them.  Much of the suffering in life happens simply as a result of the Fall, not because of the sufferer's own sin.  Even when we do reap the consequences of our poor choices and sinful actions, positive  words encourage life change much more powerfully than shame and blame.
• Second, shame blocks grace and hinders relief and recovery.  What's the difference between shame and guilt?  Christian author and counselor Jeff VanVonderan hits it right on the head:

Shame is often confused with guilt.  But they're no the same.  God created you and me so that when we do something wrong we experience a sense of guilt.  Guilt is like a spiritual nerve-response to sin, an emotion in response to wrong behavior...In that sense, guilt is a healthy thing.  Because guilt comes as a result of something you and I do, we can do something about it...

Shame, on the other hand, ...is the belief or mindset that something is wrong with you...It's not that you feel bad about our behavior, it's that you sense or believe you are deficient, defective or worthless as a human being

Shame is not from God; it's from Satan.  Our Father never shames us.  Instead, He forgives and redeems us as His children, whom He loves.  The devil, however, uses shame to make us feel unworthy.  He wants to drain our joy and peace in Christ and poison our relationships with those we love.  Through shame, he wants to make sure that we don't accept God's forgiveness, move past our mistakes and sins, and actively pursue God's will for our lives.  Shame-based counsel like that offered by Job's friends loads us down with disgrace rather than lightening our burden with grace.  Shame pushes us further into the downward spiral of our pain.

• Third, we learn that pride eclipses mercy and compassion.  Instead of offering listening ears and compassionate hearts, they heaped condemnation and blame on Job.  Instead of mercifully caring for their suffering friend, they tried to 'fix' him.  They couldn't bear to admit that they didn't understand the mysteries of God's ways.  As a result, they multiplied Job's pain instead of soothing it.

Chuck also outlines two lessons learned from Job's response:

• First, sometimes others' poor advice only makes our troubles worse.  When we're suffering, we don't need harsh words and misguided preaching.  Instead, we long for the quiet presence of a friend.  We appreciate kind words, a warm hug, and a shoulder to cry on.  We're thankful for those who offer to provide meals, baby-sit, or help out with everyday chores in the face of an unexpected loss or hardship.  To a suffering person, and action is worth a thousand words!
• Second, sometimes trying to understand God's unfathomable ways only makes us more confused.  We don't understand the reason behind everything that happens in our lives, and we aren't meant to.  We seek to grow in our knowledge of God and His Word, but His ways are still too marvelous, too mysterious, and too great for us to fully fathom.  That's why He's God!  If we had all the answers and knew every aspect of God's plan for our lives, we'd have no need for faith.  And the Bible says, "Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).  As Christians, our goal is to glorify and serve the Lord as we seek spiritual wisdom and maturity in a community of faith.

In closing tonight, I'll leave you with the final paragraph from our study guide...

The next time you interact with a friend, family member, or even a stranger who is suffering, seek to comfort him or her using the biblical principles you've learned in this chapter.  Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times..."(emphasis added).  That means loving others not just in the good times, but in the difficult times as well.

Blessings to you throughout your week ahead!
Until next time,
'K'

Job Study: Chapter Five - "The Mournful Wail of a Miserable Man"

What a heavy night it was last night.  Therefore my notes are scarce of our discussion.  It was a time of being raw with one another...quite a few personal things were shared, which will remain within the walls of the Fireside Room (where our study is held).  What a time of true worship and realness it was.

We looked at Job 3:1-10...when Job finally speaks.  Since I don't have much to contribute of my own, I'll just get right into some of the keys points given by Chuck in either the study guide or the audio portion.

The book of Job has ministered to the hurting for centuries because Job truly understood suffering.  It's no surprise that those who experience times of grief and depression turn to Job for strength, since only those with wounded hearts can truly empathize with such deep and tortured anguish.

After reading verse 1 ("Let the day perish on which I was to be born" - Job 3:3), we might tend to say, "Aha! Satan was right.  Job did curse God."  But he didn't.  He cursed the day of his birth.  There's a big difference!  Asking "Why was I ever born?" isn't the same as saying, "I no longer believe in you, God."  Job's outburst wasn't prompted only by his physical suffering, but also by the fact that he felt out of touch with God.  He felt so alone that he regretted ever drawing his first breath, and he wished he could erase the day of his birth. 

After reading Job's entire lament, not one of us could say we haven't felt the same way.  (Again, not likely to the same degree as Job...but in our own, very real and individual way.)  I found myself taken back to a few key times when I just 'laid it all out there for God to hear'!  Not apologizing to Him for being real and sharing my frustrations...He knows already anyway, and He can handle it!  

Chuck reminds us that:

We've all struggled at times with feelings of painful inadequacy, depression, or utter insufficiency to complete a task or bear a load.  When we travel through these dark, rocky valleys, many of us tend to isolate ourselves from others.  Job, however, didn't run and hide.  He didn't "stuff" his emotions or try to downplay his pain.  He openly unleashed his grief and cried out to God.  He wasn't afraid to wrestle with God in his attempt to come to terms with the tough trials that plagued him.

I remember one time specifically; it felt like the bottom just dropped out from underneath me...I was completely caught off guard by a certain turn of events, and in 'my moment' I fell to my knees, outright sobbing, saying "NO!!"...this couldn't be happening, and asking "WHY??", why was this happening?  I also recall crying out to God immediately after that, telling Him I wasn't angry at Him - over and over and over again.  I didn't realize it at the time, but this was a break-through for me!  Of course, it took time for me to be able to look back on that pivotal moment to realize the place I'd had to come to and why it was so significant to my healing and growing.  A bitter/sweet memory for sure!

There was a little blurb in the study book about Charles Spurgeon I thought was interesting:

The popular nineteenth-century British pastor experienced feeling of inadequacy, depression, despair, and disillusionment that mirrored Job's in some ways.  In a lecture to his students called "The Minister's Fainting Gits," Spurgeon stated openly:

Before any great achievement, some measure of the same depression is very usual...This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry; the cloud is black before it breaks, and overshadows before it yields its deluge of mercy.  Depression has now become to me as a prophet in tough clothing.

Isn't that interesting...and somewhat encouraging?!  A human being, just like us...yet we may think he was so 'good' with God.  Just goes to show we never really know a persons struggles.  Phillip Yancey writes,

Very often, disappointment with God begins in Job-like circumstances.  The death of a child, a tragic accident, or a loss of job may bring on the same questions Job asked.  Why me?  What does God have against me?  Why does he seem so distant?...

For Job, the battleground of faith involved lost possessions, lost family members, lost health.  We may face a different struggle: a career failure, a floundering marriage, sexual orientation, a body shape that turns people off, not on.  At such times the outer circumstances - the illness, the bank account, the run of bad luck - will seem the real struggle.  We may bed God to change those circumstances.  If only I were beautiful or handsome, then everything would work out.  If only I had more money - or a least a job - the I could easily believe God.

But the more important battle, as shown in Job, takes place inside us.  Will we trust God?  Job teaches that at the moment when faith is hardest and least likely, then faith is most needed. 

(I added the bold and italics on that last line for impact...I think it's sooo fridge worthy!) 

In the 'nuggets of wisdom' section this week, we are given three principles we can glean from Job's lament and apply them to our daily lives...

• First of all, some days are too dark for the sufferer to see light.  Those who have lost a spouse, friend, or family member through death or divorce will tell you that, even years after the tragedy, they have good days and bad days.  On the good days, the pain seems manageable.  On the bad days, it's almost unbearable.  But guess what?  God can handle even your bad days.  He knows your hurts.  And there's nothing you can say to Him that He hasn't heard before!...Job blurted out exactly how he felt...yet found a way to express himself while maintaining his integrity and his faith in God.
• Second, some experiences are too extreme for the hurting to find hope.  Did Job hope that he would be restored?  Probably.  Yet from his outcries, it seems that he never truly expected to be healed.  Amazingly, he never even ask for healing!  What he asked for were answers from Yahweh and a reprieve from His deafening silence...It took some time for Job to gain perspective on his suffering.. Yet he believed deep in his heart that God had some reason for allowing this calamity.  He maintained faith that the Lord was somehow still sovereign over his suffering.
• And thirdly, some valleys are too deep for the anguished to find relief.  Grief and depression are natural responses to life in a fallen world.  If you're struggling through the grieving process or suffering from depression, don't blame yourself.  Everyone walks through valleys of despair, and everyone feels burdened at one time or another by the tremendous weight of their trials.  Having a godly response to those trials is what matters most.

Chuck reminds us of God's promise to those who suffer:

It's okay to admit that we don't always understand the principles and purposes behind our trials.  God can handle our grievances!  He loves us, and He wants to bring us to greater maturity through our painful experiences.  The prophet Isaiah tells us that our Father sent His Son "To bring good news to the afflicted; ...to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; ...giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.  So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."  (Isaiah 61:1, 3; see also Luke 4:18-19).

I love the closing sentences of this chapter in our book!  And after the day of attack I've had today from the enemy, it's something I need to be writing out and sticking everywhere.  I encourage you to do the same!

God can heal even the most painful broken heart.  Keep trusting Him through your trials, and He'll exchange your ashes of mourning for the beauty of joy and praise.

Have a blessed week!
Until next time,
'K'

Job Study: Chapter Four - "Job's Advice to Friends And Husbands"

"Crucible" simply put means...'a severe test'.  The dictionary defines it as 'a vessel of a very refractory material used for melting and calcining a substance that requires a high degree of heat'.  Figuratively it means 'a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development'.  Personally, I prefer the 'simply put' definition myself!

As I went through this text, I had an 'a-ha' moment...I am in a crucible of my own!  Now, I'm totally not saying it's anything even remotely in comparison to Job, or Mrs. Job, by any means.  Although I do say, with the understanding that things effect us as uniquely as we are unique.  Therefore, what would be a crucible to me, likely wouldn't be a crucible to someone else.  So, in saying that...I have come to realize that I have been in this particular crucible for a few years now.  And I'll admit, coming to the knowledge that said situation has a name, makes it a bit easier to understand why I'm going through it.  Not to say it's easy being in it...but knowing there will be an outcome that glorifies the Lord, makes it a little less painful.  (Of course being that I keep my integrity intact while I ride it out all the way!)

We studied only 2 verses this week...2:11-13, but there was still a lot to chew on!  In addition to the crucible, we looked at Job's three friends and their response when they saw Job.  We compared the responses of the friends to that of Job's own response. Job saw God and acknowledged Him, falling to the ground and worshipping Him! Quite the opposite of his friends.

First, they wept aloud, indicating their emotional shock and sorrow.  Second, they tore their robes to signify their broken-heartedness.  Job had responded in a similar fashion when he heart of the deaths of his children.  Third, Job's friends threw dust on their heads to symbolize their deep grief.

With that being said, they must have been flabbergasted at the sight of their friend they had once known as the greatest man, to now among the lowest of the low sitting in an ash heap in the city dump.  I honestly don't know what my reaction would be in a case like that.  My heart would break I'm sure.  And sadly maybe speak the words Mrs. Job spoke to her husband.  Simply because it would be too much to bare seeing a loved one in such physical pain.  I don't really know...and I pray I never have to find out!

In any case, these three friends 'made the book', so they obviously have importance to the story as a whole.  They came to see their friend, not knowing what they would face.  Once they did see the plight of Job, they remained with him, silent, for seven days and seven nights!  Not speaking a word for an entire week...wow.  (It was mentioned during discussion last night about how things would have been very different if it was Mrs. Job and three of her girlfriends instead...it would have been a completely different story!)  Their silence was a sign of respect to Job.  It was custom during that time to allow the grieving person express themselves first (this I did not know!).

We then examined the appropriate ways to be there for someone who is in a time of need.  Sensitivity was spoken out first and foremost in our discussion.  It's crucial to be super sensitive when dealing with someone in pain.

When we're suffering, we don't need blame, shame, trite answers, or false labels.  Instead we need true friends.  We seek out listening earls and open hearts.  We desire comfort, and companionship.  In order to mend, our hurting spirits need a healing does of compassion and encouragement.

When we experience suffering, we intuitively know what we need to help us through.  Yet how often do we offer the same caring friendship, comfort, love, and support to others who suffer?

Something I'd never really thought much about before was the fact that often it's the person suffering that brings comfort to others!  Have you noticed that?  And as a result of enduring pain, we become comforters to others!  You know you've done it right when they hate to see you go!  Don't stay too long.  You're suffering presence will be like a balm (perhaps of Gilead!) all over them!

The following is Job's advice for comforting others:

• First, listen well, and always tell others the truth.  Most of us aren't hard of hearing; we're hard of listening.  Often, listening is the best gift you can offer a struggling loved one.  If you do feel led to speak, offer a word of comfort and share the truth in love.
• Second, turn others toward God.  Job reminded his wife that the Lord is sovereign over every moment of our lives.  Our Almighty God is never caught off guard by events or circumstances!  Nothing happens that's beyond His knowledge or control.
• Third, model verbal purity.  "In all this Job did not sin with his lips."  Job could have responded to his wife in anger and frustration.  But rather, he provided her with a gentle reminder of God's blessing and provision.  Instead of cursing God, as his wife encouraged him to do, Job blessed the name of the Lord.
• Fourth, accept others completely and love them unconditionally.  We thrive in contexts where we're appreciated and loved for who we are, and yet are encouraged to become the people that God wants us to become.  We form and cement our relationships with others by weaving cords of trust from thin, fragile threads.  East moment we spend together, each work, each shared experience or event, adds another thread to the cord.  Each hurtful work or action destroys a thread, weakening the cord.  We grown in our friendships and relationships with other by continually adding threads, thus strengthening our bonds with those we love.

From the 'nuggets of wisdom' section this week, Chuck gives us five characteristics of a true friend:

1.  A true friend cares enough to respond without being invited to respond.  When your friends for family members go through a traumatic time, make an effort to call, stop by, send a card or letter, or somehow connect with them.  Don't wait for an invitation to show that you care because a deeply hurting person will rarely offer one.

2.  A true friend responds with sympathy and comfort.  Friends identify with those who suffer.  They comfort others by helping to make their sorrow lighter.  Why?  Because true friends have a covenant-type relationship that cannot be easily broken.  And part of the covenant it the commitment to be there, no matter what.  Your presence during the fun times will be remembered, but your presence during a crisis will be cherished even more.

3.  A true friend openly expresses the depth of his or her feelings.  When a true friend perceives a loved one's suffering, it's not uncommon to see him or her fighting back tears.  Acquaintances don't do that, but friends do.  They empathize with the other' pain.  When their loved ones suffer, they suffer.  And when their loved ones celebrate, they celebrate.

4.  A true friend isn't turned off by distasteful sights.  No doubt, Hob's friends were stunned beyond belief at this sight.  Yet they stuck by him.  They expressed their grief outwardly and then sat down to mourn with their friend for seven days and seven nights.  They exposed themselves to the ashes, gods, waste, and outcasts in order to show Job that they cared.  Now, that's commitment!

5.  A true friend understands and has to say very little.  Compassion, not judgment, heals hearts.  We offer more comfort to hurting souls when we listen that when we try to explain everything.  A caring hug, a warm squeeze of the hand, a visit to a hospital room, a heartfelt prayer...these are what friends offer in tough times.

In closing this week, I'll leave you with a statement made by Eugene Peterson in regards to Job's friends.  When I read it, I quickly highlighted it and put an asterisk beside it with the words 'I SO HEAR THIS'.

There is more to the book of Job than Job.  There are Job's friends.  The moment we find ourselves in trouble of any kind - sick in the hospital, bereaved by a friend's death, dismissed from a job or relationship, depressed or bewildered - people start showing up telling us exactly what is wrong with us and what we must do to get better.  Sufferers attract fixers the way roadkills attract vultures.  At first we are impressed that they bother with us and amazed at their facility with answers.  They know so much!  How did they get to be such experts in living?

More often than not, these people us the Word of God frequently and loosely.  They are full of spiritual diagnosis and prescription.  It all sound so hopeful.  But then we begin to wonder, "why is it that for all their apparent compassion we feel worse instead of better after they've said their piece?"

...Many of the answers that Job's so-called friends give him are technically true.  But it is the 'technical' part that ruing them.  They are answers without personal relationship, intellect without intimacy.  The answers are slapped onto Job's ravaged life like labels on a specimen bottle.  Job rages against this secularized wisdom that has lost touch with the living realities of God.

Right on, eh?!  I'll just let that permeate with you for the week! 

Remember that your presence means the world to a suffering person.  Even if you don't know eactly what to say, be there.  Your compassion and care will make an eternal difference in the life of your loved one!

Until next time,
'K'