I am a professing Christian yet I have questions and doubts too...although I don't doubt God. I don't question whether or not He is Creator God, and I don't question His sovereignty...yet I struggle with my own unbelief, and with why the world still spins in the state it is in. My head knows, that at times when it's the hardest to believe in something not seen, my faith is being tested. I just wish it wasn't tested so much, and so often.
The struggles I seem to be facing in my current season (which appears to be an on-going season), I'm sure can be found in others lives as well...however, they are unique to me. There are moments - more of them than not - where I feel there is no one else out there that can possibly understand the way I'm feeling. This, I know, is a lie that the enemy would love for me to believe. And momentarily, at times...I do. But in clarity of mind, I know The Truth. I thank God for those moments of clarity.
I think what is most difficult, is not only the issues going on in my own little world, but all the other issues I see going on all around me. I'm not even talking global issues here. The amount of 'junk' going on in our lives is enough to make my head spin. It saddens me deeply. Our priorities (mine included) honestly are not where they are to be (not intentionally and/or not that we even acknowledge it really). Even as recently as yesterday, I saw my focus and priorities on something that didn't deserve to be placed there. My difficulty is not taking on what isn't mine - within reason, as we are to help one another carry each others burdens - as stated in scripture. But knowing how much of if we're to carry for them and responsibly praying for them and for what we don't carry. Thank God He can carry it all!
Also, the state of our relationships - as a whole - is so out of whack. The lack of genuine and intentional communication has been lost somewhere along the way here. No one needs anyone anymore because in this culture we're taught to be this self-sufficient machine that can make it all on our own...that we don't need anybody else. What a crock! This isn't the way God designed us. We were not meant to be alone! And the sad thing is, is that when we feel we're drowning and trying to pull it all off by ourselves, there is such a stigma about coming forward and admitting we really can't. Instead, we kill ourselves trying to prove we're a super-person, in which we are quite the opposite. It goes to show, yet again, that we do need the supernatural power of the One True God. Personally, I think the reason our human relationships are in such terrible shape is because our personal relationship with Jesus has been put on the back-burner (myself included). If we're not in close, daily relationship with Him, then how on earth can we be in right relationship with Him? Same goes with our human relationships...if we're not willing to put in the time, effort, and honest communication - no matter what it takes - then how can we really expect to have great relationships with one another??
Sigh. I suppose this is just a bit of a rant from where I am at the moment, but perhaps some of you are there right now as well - or have been or will be. I'm not going to pretend I have it all together anymore. Some days I might, and some days I might not. But on the days I don't, I'm not going to hide behind a mask anymore...how about you? Isn't it time to show that us Christians are human as well?! I'll leave you with this very timely quote I woke up to this morning. May it be of encouragement to you today...
Christians don't have perfect lives, but they have perfect God. Follow Jesus, not Christians, and you won't be disappointed.Until next time,
K
